In a perfect world, there would be no heartbreak. Everyone would be nice to everyone. Love and relationships always work under every scenario and circumstance. But, in a not so perfect world such as ours, heartbreak is inevitable in life. Anyone who has ever loved or has been loved would definitely have faced some kind of heartbreak. If they have not, it means one of three things – Either they have not loved well or are still in the initial stages of love or they are yet to process their loss.
Heartbreak can be because of anything and/or anyone. The loss of a loved one either due to circumstances beyond your control or because of you. The end of a relationship between two people – any two people – two friends, lovers, husband and wife, parents and children even. The idea of someone hurting you to the point of heartbreak is alien to most people. When you experience it for the first time, the hurt will seem insurmountable and almost impossible to take. The experienced and older generation will tell you, that they have faced heartbreak so many times and are stronger because of it. How can it be possible to be okay after such hurt? Rebuilding yourself – Pick up the pieces and move on. Sounds like a cliché or a bad title of a movie. I read this book, where there was this line “She looked down expecting to see the pieces of her heart lying on the floor like broken glass, such was the pain she was feeling”. Really? Broken glass…sounds a bit melodramatic. But everyone who has been through a heartbreak will tell you, that is how it feels.
So, how do you pick up the pieces? How do you rebuild yourself? There is no one way or another way of doing this. What works for one person, may not work for another. The idea is to focus on yourself. How? There are many, many ways you can focus on yourself. A breakup is never a single person’s fault, It always takes two to make or break a relationship and the loss is felt by both the parties in that relationship. So understand the loss. Sometimes, it does not help to examine what went wrong, but rather think about all the right things that you could learn from this incident.
The best advice, through example that I can tell you is to have a support system. This could be anyone. Your friends, family, colleagues or your neighbors, a prayer group, Even a writing pad and paper. Anyone or anything which might help in sympathizing or empathizing with you, can help. Vent out your frustration, either to a person or on paper. Talk to God, spend more time in prayer, Write down your feelings, your anger, your tears and your disappointment. Trust me, this helps. A few years down the line, you will look back on what you have written and laugh your heart out. You are the most important thing now. Focus and keep focus on yourself. Take the time to enjoy yourself. Do what you love the most, even if it is the silliest thing anyone ever heard like eating cotton candy or going on a Ferris wheel. Learn to laugh. There will be tears, Oh! So many tears and that is okay, but the laughter will come and when it does, let it come. Rebuild your self-confidence. There is no reason to feel guilty about laughing or about being happy.
There may come a time in your future, when you might be able to open your heart for another relationship. Understand that it can never be the same as before. Being afraid to open your heart again is perfectly normal. There is no shame in this. Trust in God, but more importantly, trust that you have learnt from your experience and are wiser now because of it. Rebuilding takes time – a lot of time. No one should expect that this is an easy process or that it is easier for some people and harder for others. This is your journey to rebuild yourself after a loss. And it is yours alone. No comparisons and no competitions. The focus is to move on every day. The longer you wait to rebuild, the harder it will be and we never want anyone to give up halfway. No one should give up halfway, it is an insult to yourself that you are backing down and someone who is truly focused on rebuilding will never give up and remember to keep your head up always.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7